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“Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav’rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin’ her down de road when this huge Maclean potato truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.“Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, “Mr. Drover, how are you feelin’? ... Now yer honor, wot da fock would you say?”Yes, I know there are different variations of this joke posted but it is still funny.The following is compliments of StarFleetCarlMurphy’s Law. ” Actually I was watching porn; I still had a partial erection. “Could you take a look at it? I’m hopeless with technical stuff.” I was a little irritated, but said, “Sure let’s take a look at it.” Lilly was in her forties, I guessed. She was about 5’7”tall with long blonde hair tinged with grey. Her breasts were large and hung down, but her nipples were prominent under the T-shirt she had on. I didn’t see anything below the long shirt. I assumed she had a pair of shorts on. Her legs were nice. She let me in her apartment and showed me the cable box. “You want a beer; I was drinking one?” “Let me look at this first.” I saw that the cable had come off its nipple, so I screwed it back on, and the cable worked. “All fixed Lilly.” “Come out in the kitchen and get your beer.” I followed her to the kitchen and she opened the fridge and took out a beer. I saw she had a good supply. My back was to the refrigerator and Lilly stood close to me. “Don’t you get lonely living alone?” Lilly.
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